


The Other Side (2011)

by JennyB



Series: Lent 2011 [36]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Bittersweet Ending, Implied Relationships, Lent Challenge 2011, Letters, M/M, Soulmates
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-04-13
Updated: 2011-04-13
Packaged: 2018-01-06 19:12:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 994
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1110508
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JennyB/pseuds/JennyB
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Much to his surprise, Dean is reunited with something he hadn't realized he'd been missing.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Other Side (2011)

**Author's Note:**

> Written for Lent Challenge 2011. Prompt: Sam rescues Dean's amulet, Dean finds out about it (s5,e16).

Dear Dean,

I’ve been hanging on to this for a while now, trying to find the right moment to give it to you, trying to find the right words to say. ‘The right time’ never really seemed to come. But if you’re reading this, it means that I ran out of time, and so I’m going to have to just jump in with both feet and hope that you’ll understand.

At the risk of putting you through a chick-flick moment (I'm sure you'll get over it), I don’t think _I_ understood just what I had before we spent some time in heaven. Well, from the time we remember anyway. Looking back on our happiest memories, I realized just how different we were. And how selfish I was. Everything you remembered was for our family. For me. And everything I remembered concerned my own well-being. Getting away from the family, getting away from dad…getting away from you. I was - am - just a stupid little kid. I realize now how everything had to have looked to you. And believe me, there isn’t a day that’s gone by since that I haven’t thought about the hurt and disappointment I saw in your eyes.

And I’ve thought a lot about what Ash said, about us being soul mates and sharing our heaven. It made perfect sense! All these years I’ve been searching for something, no _someone_ who could complete me, and it turns out I’ve had him all along. We’re more than brothers, Dean. And I haven’t done a very good job in showing you that. It was only when we got back and you threw this away that I realized what I'd lost. I knew you were frustrated, and you’d had enough. It’s hard to have faith in anything when everyone keeps crapping on you and letting you down. I understand that now. I understand that the world isn’t about me. It’s about _us_. I wasn't slighted because you threw this away. I felt motivated. I rescued this because I wasn’t about to give up on what we’d had. I wanted to make things right between us again. I wanted to be the person you once respected and not the bastard I’d become. Maybe realizing this, I finally grew up some.

You’ve always been there for me, and I remember the time I gave this to you. I wanted you to know that you were special, and that I appreciated everything you did for me. And now, I want you to have this back because I still believe in you. I’ve always believed in you. You’re the strongest person I know – stronger than dad even – and that will never change. I want this to symbolize my faith in you, Dean. It’s not about God, and about having faith in Him. I want this to remind you that I’m here for you, too, and that I’ll always be there with you in some way, even if I can’t be _physically_ there. Maybe you can forgive my stupidity and hang on to it for a little while longer?

I want you to be happy, Dean. And I think it’s about time that you were a little bit selfish. You deserve that after everything I've put you through.

I’m sorry that things didn’t turn out the way we wanted them to - they never do in our line of work - but I hope that you’ll always know that I never did forget you, and that I’ll always love you. As my brother, as my friend, as my soul mate.

So, before I start sounding like a total girl with all this talking about our feelings, I guess that’s all there is to say. I don’t have a real eloquent way to end this, so I’ll leave you with something you can relate to. To quote Ozzy Osbourne, I’ll see you on the other side.

Take care of yourself, Dean. And be happy. For both of us.

Always,  
Sam

* * *

Dean shifted the pages aside, and peered down into the box, his chest tightening slightly when he saw the amulet he’d angrily discarded months ago. He’d regretted that decision sometimes, and there were nights when his heart felt heavy without the comforting weight of the pendant around his neck. Especially on days when Sam wasn’t there with him. Especially on the nights after Sam had sacrificed himself to stop Lucifer and Michael.

He’d been excited when he’d got the notification that he had a package waiting for him in Lawrence, and he’d clung to the tiny shred of hope that he’d hear word of his brother’s whereabouts. He’d been beyond disappointed when he’d realized it was, essentially, Sam’s last words to him, and seeing the familiar scrawl caused his soul to ache in a way he never thought possible. He found himself regretting all the bitterness and anger he’d been carrying with him for so long, and he wondered if things would have turned out differently had he made an effort to try to work things out.

He sighed to himself, and then removed the amulet from the box. He let it dangle from his fingertips by the cord for a moment, letting the sunlight reflect off the stone. He didn’t know how long he stared at it, but he eventually slipped it around his neck. After tucking it into his shirt, he felt his spirit calm some. The pendant didn’t take away the pain of losing Sam, but having its weight there made things feel better somehow. That things were as they should be.

He put the Impala in gear, and as he pulled out onto the street, the first bars of _See You On the Other Side_ began to play over his cassette deck. A small smile pulled at the corners of his mouth, and hitting the highway, he dashed a hand across his cheek.

But he wasn’t crying. Dean didn’t cry. It was obviously just something in the air.


End file.
